Americans and Canadians share a continent, but that’s about it. Their cultures, legal and otherwise, are very different. Let’s do this. If you like the way Canada does things, either stay there or move there. If you like the way Americans do things, either stay here or move here. Canada will be a place of multiculturalism, political correctness, welfare-state egalitarianism, feminism, and pacifism. The United States will be a place of robust self-sufficiency, personal responsibility, competition, individual liberty, and market economics. We might have to build a border between the countries afterward, but at least there would be happiness in each. What do you think?

Addendum: We get Rush, Saga, and April Wine. Canada gets hockey back and has to keep Neil Young.